June 7-9, 2019  

      The rituals of BDSM - a retreat in the Estonian countryside.

"Most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day."

        -Esther Perel, the secret to desire in a long-term relationship

Bondage, discipline, submission, sadism, and masochism are the pillars of BDSM. They are conscious taboos in our everyday life, but they are equally strong in our subconscious, governing both our sexuality and creativity. 

We are often tempted to explore them unconsciously in destructive relationships, lasting a night to a life time. Or trivialising them to an embarrassing 50 Shades of Gray clique (or Harlequin novel if you were born before 1980). 

Instead, in this retreat, we will explore BDSM through rituals, that act as frames that we can consciously relate to and reflect upon. 

This enables, on one hand, a safer space and clearer communication, and on the other hand a deeper experience, as we follow a known path that works together.

The rituals have been collected and curated by Andy Buru on his fifteen year journey through many diverse BDSM and tantra communities. 

Bringing flavors from Berlin's Schwelle 7 and conscious kink, Scandinavia's Sexsibility and ritual magick, and European and Japanese rope bondage. They cover all aspects of BDSM and focus on embodying the emotional and physical experience, rather than technical skills. A common goal is to avoiding spiritual bypass, and creating an experience interesting enough in its own simplicity. The retreat is a part of the in-between space project that Andy started in 2012 to investigate how to evolve his own BDSM experience by embracing knowledge and practices from theatre, performance art, tantra, and ritual magic.

Concretely this retreat covers the following subjects:

  • Leading and following, balancing between trust and challenge.
  • The psychology of bondage, without being to technical.
  • Feeding primal desires, using the senses.
  • Body awareness, with drums and cacao.
  • Pain and domination in a conceptual threesome.
  • The joy and hardship of being the queen of motherfucking everything.
  • A long journey into mummification and sensory deprivation.
  • The art of submission, the beauty in honesty and surrender.

Key concepts of the retreat are presence, slowness, and "no fucking charity" - you are there for you to have time and space to experience yourself.

Andy Buru is a student of theatre, a medical massage therapist, a former organizational coach, a conscious kinkster, and a teacher of European and Japanese rope bondage. During his fifteen years of BDSM he has been a slave, a owner, a hedonist, a purist, a magician, and a slut. His biggest inspiration in BDSM is the Schwelle7 Berlin project and Xplore festival by Felix Ruckert.

The venue is a nice and comfortable cottage in the landscape of North-West Estonia. Retreat starts at 15.00 on Friday and finishes at 15.00 on Sunday.  

Couples and singles are welcome. Participation cost is 290 euros per person or 280 per person when you register in couple.  Food and accomodation included.

Further information is provided on registration:

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